The first week of my no yelling challenge has gone reasonably well! I’ll admit, I haven’t been doing a perfect job. The first couple of days I’d raise my voice and then remember the challenge. Oops.
On Sunday I asked Tobi if I yell a lot or a little.
“You kind of yell a lot, Mommy.”
Humbling, for sure. A bit heartbreaking, too. I don’t want to be remembered as the Mom who yelled a lot.
I apologized and told him that I was trying hard to not yell any more. And then I told him that if he hears me start to yell that he can tell me I’m yelling, and that he won’t get in trouble for it.
Only 2 days later it happened. Definitely humbling to be frustrated and upset and raising your voice only to have a small voice say “Mommy, you’re yelling again.” It’s never fun to have your errors pointed out in the heat of it.
Overall though, I think I’ve been doing OK. I have definitely been paying more attention to my volume. I’ve also noticed that I need to pay attention to the tone of my voice. Sometimes I can have a pretty good “mean mommy” voice even at times I’m not yelling, and that’s not OK.
This week’s topic for the challenge is triggers. What makes me tick.
I’m an introvert and in order to stay reasonably sane, I need quiet. I need to be able to think and hear my thoughts. My biggest challenge is the noise.
Noise stresses me out. It’s definitely my biggest trigger for yelling.
“One thing I can’t stand is the noise, noise, noise, noise!”
Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Noise gets to me very quickly. And in a house with 4 kids 5 and under, 3 of whom are boys..it gets loud quickly and often.
I’ve learned that it’s important for me step out of the room when it gets too noisy and I can feel myself getting overwhelmed by it. I’ve been working with the kids, reminding them that only one person speaks at a time. If a baby is crying, it’s automatically the baby’s turn. One of my biggest frustrations is when I have the baby screaming in my ear while 2 other children are trying to talk to me at the same time, with Josiah playing noisily in the background. I am teaching them to wait until it’s quiet instead of trying to yell over the noise.
Another stressor of mine is clutter. When kids are cranky and hungry nothing irks me more than to go into the kitchen and find out that I have to clean before I can prepare a meal. I need to stay on top of the dishes! I’ve also been working at decluttering the house. If there are less things in the house, there are less things to clean up!
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get rid of the triggers for yelling but I can definitely learn to handle them better!
What’s the challenge all about? Check out the intro to the No Yelling Challenge.
Are you taking part in the No Yelling Challenge? I’d love to hear how it’s going for you.
What triggers do you find you have that make it more difficult to keep your cool?