Today I was shocked to read a post on a popular blog’s Facebook status that was openly judging another Mom. Not only that, she was encouraging others to judge, as well. She had linked to an article that was talking about how a woman faced harsh judgments online for saying that she only bathed her infant son once a week. The Facebook status read, “OMG this woman is totally off her rocker? What do you think of a woman who does this?” I replied that I, too, only bathed my infant once a week unless he needed it, and did that make me a bad mom? I also told her that I had no interest in following a site that was quick to judge other moms instead of encourage and uplift. The blogger soon removed her initial status.
I’m not going to name the blog because I don’t want to point fingers at any one person for making one comment that I didn’t agree with. But it saddens me that our culture is so quick to judge other moms, compared to other cultures who support and help and encourage other moms, even if they don’t parent the same way.
To all the Moms out there who don’t do things the way “they” say we should, this is for you.
You’re Still a Good Mom if…
- You formula feed.
- You breastfeed.
- You use cloth diapers.
- You use disposable diapers.
- You feed your family a meal from a box now and again, or even if you do so often.
- You let your kids eat fast food.
- You only let your children eat “real” foods.
- You bathe them once a week.
- You let them wear mismatched clothes out in public.
- You forget to put diapers in the diaper bag sometimes.
- You let your baby use a soother.
- You don’t let your baby use a soother.
- You have spanked your child as a method of discipline.
- You breastfed your child for longer than others thought was “necessary.”
- You have lots of children.
- You have only one child.
- You are facing hard times and use government assistance.
- You send your kids to school, whether public, Catholic, or private.
- You homeschool.
- You are a single parent.
- You lose your temper sometimes.
- You only buy brand name clothing for your kids.
- You only buy second-hand clothing for your kids.
- You gave birth naturally.
- You had an induction, an epidural, and/or a c-section.
- You have never given birth; you’ve adopted.
- You co-sleep.
- Your baby sleeps in their own room.
- You had your baby at home.
- You had your baby someplace other than home.
- You don’t throw a big party for birthdays … or if you do.
The list could go on and on. The point is, none of these things makes you a good or bad parent. If you feel that maybe something you do needs to change, ask God for help and work on it. If you find yourself judging other moms, ask God to help you see them the way He does. But don’t let others decide whether or not you’re a good mom just because you don’t do things their way.
When we make a decision as a parent we need to remember that in the end it’s God we stand before, not the Joneses, the parenting experts, or the in-laws.
“For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7 NKJV