The thing about the internet is that you can show yourself in a way that you want others to see you. You can come across exactly how you want to. I have shared my fears and weaknesses and not-so-proud moments before but I still get to pick and choose.
Sometimes, I feel like a fake. I read positive and kind comments from you lovely ladies and I can’t help but think that “that’s so sweet, but they wouldn’t be saying these things if they really knew me.”
I’ll admit, I struggle with reading many other Christian mom blogs. Because those moms often seem like they just have it all together. They’re the Proverbs 31 women in the flesh. They’ve got it down pat.
And well, it can be hard to read about how great someone else is at something that you want so badly for yourself and still struggle so hard to achieve..or even get close to achieving.
So, I’m coming clean with some “this is the real me” confessions.
I still struggle with fear. I have a very hard time putting my trust in God.
My house is usually a mess. I’m never caught up with laundry and I almost never get around to washing the dishes after supper.
Despite doing the No Yelling Challenge so recently, the last 2 weeks have been very far from No Yelling. I frequently react in anger when I’m overwhelmed and the kids are misbehaving a lot.
I almost never manage to make myself sit down and have quiet time to read the Bible and pray.
I easily become discontent, even though I know that I have a pretty good life compared to the majority of the world. I find myself comparing my current situation to people who appear to have it better.
I have a hard time keeping consistent when I try to start good habits. Such as a cleaning schedule, doing daily read alouds, and devotionals and memory verses with the kids.
I’m very good at being lazy. I’m terrible at getting myself motivated to get up and do the housework that needs to get done.
When it comes to parenting, I often feel clueless.
I’m going to stop there because I don’t want to seem like I’m just being down on myself. But I want you to know that this is the real me. I’m full of faults and imperfections, and I’m sorry if I’ve ever come across as having it all figured out because I don’t. The last thing I want to accomplish with this blog is to write something that makes someone else feel badly about themselves.
I take pictures of the recipes that turn out yummy (and usually I’m pushing junk around on the table so that it doesn’t show up in the photo and it looks like I have a clean kitchen) and I share tips and ideas that work but there are dozens more that I don’t share because they didn’t work.
Thankfully, I have a God who loves me all the same. And He loves you that way, too. When He looks at you, He doesn’t see the faults, He sees His beautiful and loved child.
He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written:
“For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:32-39 NKJV emphasis mine