My week has once again gone OK. Not fantastic but not bad either. Some days I didn’t raise my voice in frustration or use a nasty tone of voice, one day was worse than I’d like to admit. Last week when I talked about triggers, I forgot the “being tired” one. Gabriel has been waking up every 1-1.5 hours each night for the last few weeks and I’ve been running on fumes lately. I had to apologize to the kids several times that day. But we move on!
This week our topic is along the lines of how to not yell. Sounds simple, I know. But when we’re steaming and we need an outlet, what can we do? When the kids are just not listening and we’re trying to be heard, what can we do?
I’ve been trying to take Mommy time outs. I usually can’t really go far or long, but sometimes just closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths is enough of a Mommy-moment for me to calm down enough to cool off. If I’m able to leave the room for a few minutes, I’ll do that.
Praying. I am trying to remember to pray for my day more at the start of the day. I pray that God will help me to make good choices in what I say to my kids. I also pray that God will give my kids wisdom in making good choices as well. 😛 I have been praying “in the moment” a lot more as well, for self-control and a wise choice of words and actions for correction and discipline.
Instead of yelling across the room to get my kids’ attention when it’s noisy, I’m trying to be more intentional about getting up and going to them. Sometimes, if I’m feeding the baby or have my hands full of raw meat while preparing supper, this isn’t really possible. But I’m realizing how lazy I’ve been in this area. If I don’t stop what I’m doing to go and correct and discipline my kids, I’m putting [insert whatever task I’m doing here] as a higher priority. And my kids know it.
I’ve started to clap my hands to get their attention instead of yelling, as well. I really wish I could do a nice, shrill whistle! But, I can’t. Clapping doesn’t always get their attention but sometimes it does.
I’m catching the behaviors sooner. Instead of letting a situation escalate until it reaches the point when the kids are screaming at each other and I’m frustrated and yelling to be heard above the commotion, I’m stepping in sooner. The kids do need to learn to settle things themselves so I don’t always say anything. Them just seeing Mom and knowing I’m watching can do wonders for the next words they speak.
I’ve also been trying to get on top of the triggers I mentioned last week, namely clutter. I’ve been filling up bags and bags of stuff we don’t need and it feels great!
I have an accountability partner. One of my friends from church, after hearing about this challenge when I asked for prayer for it, told me that she was trying hard to get on top of this as well. Having to keep accountable online is good, but I think it’s even better to have a “real life” friend who you see regularly to keep you accountable. Better still is that we’re both in on it, so it’s not a one-sided thing for to share my weak moments.
Lastly, I’ve been trying to keep humble. I’ve messed up several times this week and I’ve had to apologize to my kids and ask their forgiveness.
Are you just joining us now? Check out my previous No Yelling Challenge posts.
How is your week going? If you’re doing the challenge with us, please let me know! If not, feel free to join up and do the challenge any time! Just because you might not have started on the same day as us doesn’t mean you can’t do it!