I have a confession to make.
I can be a mean mommy.
I read a verse recently that hit a nerve with me because I know that it’s something that I need to change before I damage my relationship with my kids.
So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;
James 1:19 NKJV
I never had a problem with controlling my anger until I had kids. I hate to admit it, but it’s true. Sure, I got angry, but I kept it inside. I probably didn’t deal with intense feelings in a healthy way but I didn’t outwardly blow up, either.
The first time I tried to raise my voice (I say tried because I was so unused to raising my voice that I actually couldn’t manage a yell..my husband actually laughed) at my oldest son because he wasn’t listening, I was listening to myself and thinking at the same time “wow…I’m yelling at my little child” and “wow…I can’t actually yell..no wonder he doesn’t listen to me, I sound so pathetic.”
Unfortunately, I’ve become much better at yelling. And often times, even if I’m not raising my voice, I can hear how plain mean I sound. Not something that I like and not something I’m proud of. It’s embarrassing to admit and embarrassing to think that someone might hear me one day.
Have you ever noticed that when you let yourself start to yell, it becomes easier to yell? Yea. Satan has a field day with that.
Slow to speak, slow to wrath. This is my goal.
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