I’ve talked before about how I struggle with fear and how I was attempting to conquer it. I must confess that I didn’t keep up with that attitude for very long. I quickly forgot that I was even attempting to conquer fear and my thought life became, well, fearful again.
I think lately I’ve had fear on my mind more than usual because I’ve been feeling guilty. I’ve felt convicted to let go of our control over the size of our family, and yet I’ve been letting fear get in the way. I’ve been basing my decisions on fear instead of truth.
Fear tells me that I won’t be able to handle what comes my way.
Truth tells me that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)
Fear tells me that it is better to stop now because I already feel overwhelmed.
Truth tells me that God sees me when I’m struggling and that trials are not fruitless.
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
Fear tells me that I’m not good enough. I can’t keep up with the clutter or dishes or laundry. I can’t seem to build up the motivation to get what I want to get done, done. My kids throw tantrums in public and they talk back, and they won’t eat the food I put in front of them. Obviously I’m not doing a very good job of Mommy. I don’t want to mess up any more kids!
Truth tells me that children are a blessing from God. God chose to give them to me. If I end up having more children, they will also be an intentional gift from the Creator. God must
think know I can do it. Who am I to argue?
I want to be clear that I’m not totally over my fears. I’m writing this in part to remind myself of God’s truth, and to remind myself that I don’t need to be afraid. I’m nowhere near having it all together. If you come to visit, you’ll find a lot of mess (but I’d hope that you came to see us, not to inspect our home 😛 )
I need to redirect my focus to God’s standards, not the world’s standards.
His standards can be summed up in one word: love. If I can live my days, do everything I do out of love for Christ and love for others, then I think everything else will fall into place.
Do you struggle with giving God control of a certain aspect of your life? How do you focus on God instead of fear?