I have a confession to make…
I’m really quite a pessimistic person.
There! I said it! Yes, I know that the hard times in our lives are just seasons which will pass. An yes, I know that God works all things for good for those who love Him. And yet, I still have a hard time keeping optimistic when things don’t go the way I think they should.
Because of this, there have been times in my life in which I was really struggling and I complained a lot. Usually on my personal Facebook page, since I’m too much of a chicken to complain to people in person.
It turns out, that because of my whiny posts, several months ago a friend un-followed me from Facebook. At first, I thought maybe I just had never had her as a friend before when I noticed. So I sent a new friend request; nothing happened.
A few months went by, then I randomly got a message from her saying that the reason she didn’t have me a friend on Facebook was because, while she liked talking to me in person, she thought that I was too whiny and she found herself thinking about my posts too much. She added a quick “no hard feelings”, then signed off.
Um..what? No hard feelings, when she was the one insulting me? I found the entire message hurtful, because I’d been trying REALLY hard the last several months to make sure to only post positive comments. So I sent a reply thanking her for her honesty but telling her she’d hurt my feelings, and how so. Her reply was just that “Oh, well I actually haven’t had you as a friend for several months so I didn’t see that.” No apology. No acknowledgement of having hurt my feelings. That’s it. She never has “re-friended me.”
Ok. Not everyone is perfect. I’m an obvious example of that. I shouldn’t have complained so much. I’m trying to change my pessimistic habits.
What bugged me was that this person is a Christian. She saw that I was hurting, and she decided that she didn’t want to think about it, so she put me out of sight, out of mind. She never tried to send encouraging words, or even told me in the moment that I needed to stop whining. Is that how a Christian should act? That got me to thinking, is that how I act?
I have another acquaintance on my Facebook who has a rough go of it. Her status comments are constantly negative, saying how much her life sucks and how difficult everything always is.
And before, I would sometimes give encouragement, but usually I would just move on. In a sense, putting her struggles out of sight, out of mind.
Something about a plank and a speck, right?
It’s hard to want to keep encouraging someone who seems so set on always being miserable. And it’s easy to be dragged down with it. That’s why most people tend to drop their “always negative” friends.
We aren’t most people, though.
Do you know a constant complainer? How can you show God’s love to them?