Love doesn’t publicly humiliate!

Yesterday I was scrolling through my Facebook and came across one post that totally riled me up. A woman was complaining about her husband, saying that he hadn’t done a task she’d asked of him. And there were several “likes” to her post, as well as comments backing her up! I feel for her husband, even though I don’t know the guy. I don’t know what she asked him to do, I don’t know why he didn’t. But I do know that HEY, men have feelings too! And I sincerely doubt he’d appreciate her husband bashing post on her Facebook for the world to see.

Too many times I hear women referring to their husbands as “another child”, or complaining about how little they do around the house, or that when they do do a chore, they don’t do it “right.”

Wives, we are told to love our husbands! (See Titus 2:4) Love doesn’t publicly humiliate! It forgives!

If you think of your husband as a child, ask yourself: Why did I marry a boy when I wanted a man? Because he IS a man! Treat him like one! Yes, I understand that sometimes men can act immature. But hey! We can too! After all, how many times do we laugh at our kids’ farts? Real ladylike? No. But we do it..we can be immature too!

And yes, maybe your husband doesn’t clean the same way you do..but that’s OK because he’s trying to show his love for you by helping.

A man needs to feel needed. Telling the whole world that “my husband couldn’t do the simplest thing for me” is not going to do anything but cause hurt and perhaps resentment. If you have a problem with something he’s done, go to him! Talk about it honestly in a non-attacking way. Yes, I mean the whole “I feel…..because….” thing. Conflict resolution with your spouse does not happen over Facebook. And no matter what the outcome of your (loving!) confrontations are, they are of no business to your Facebook friends!

Complaining about your husband in public will make him feel 2 inches tall. Praising him in public will make him feel like a million dollars!

Sometimes is almost seems like women are competing to prove to others that they have the “hardest lives.” We want to be seen as the woman who can do it all, and if we can do it all despite having to face the most obstacles, all the better.

Don’t forget, you married your husband! You were a part of that decision. Yes, people change. But are you the exact same person you were when you married? I highly doubt it. Love is a CHOICE! If love were only an emotion, no marriage would last. But you need to choose to love, and SHOW love to your spouse, even when you don’t FEEL it.

And…I’m done. I’ll step off my soapbox now. Please, I’d love to hear comments on this!

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  1. Cheryl@OntheOldPath :

    Well said Savannah, I know there are moments when my husband drives me nuts and I also know that I drive him nuts at times too, but that happens in every relationship and sharing those things with the world would do nothing to help our marriage. I think men and women are wired differently, we see things differently, I remember earlier in our marriage I would get frustrated with Dave only to discover later that it wasn't that he didn't care or didn't want to help it was because he honestly didn't see what I was seeing because his approach was different. I now know to ask for help if I want it, I don't assume that he would just miraculously know I wanted help and also ask how he sees a situation because he does come at things differently. Which really is a huge blessing because it opens up my world to seeing things differently too.

    I think in today's society women don't want to be a helper to their spouse, they don't want to be under their husband, they don't want to be a keeper of the home, they don't want to show respect unless they are first being respected by their husbands. There is a hierarchy yet we have been bombarded by feminism, equality etc. I get that it doesn't sound fair, but, if we live out the model that God designed it really does work because one isn't better than the other just different. I think I am going of on a tangent. I agree Savannah more women should sing the praises of their husbands, instead of having a competition of who has the worst husband. We should be sharing the good things they do. I'll start after I feed the baby Dave took him at 4 in the morning and burped him and settled him back to sleep. Yesterday Joel wanted to help take out the garbage a task that is beyond him, Dave took out the wagon and put a recycle bin it so Joel could pull it along, it took more time to get the job done but Joel felt like a million bucks! Way to go Dave. I really liked this post Savannah!!!!

  2. Counting Coconuts :

    I agree with you 110%!! It grates on me to hear friends and acquaintances – or even women on tv – belittle their husbands. It's just not right and it does everything to hurt the trust, love and friendship that should exist in a marriage.

  3. ms. freelancer :

    hi savannah,

    i would feel the same way too if i saw that post. it's about time the wives will have a different perspective of what a husband should be. wives must understand that we are to honor and love and submit our husband. that is a strict reminder from God. haay… =(

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